We are not angry we lost our favourite character.
Characters die, or leave the show, or disappear—favourites, boring ones, good ones, bad ones, well-written ones, poorly-written ones, ones with potential and ones that chewed screen time. We know that. We know they die.
We are not devastated because Lexa, Commander of the 12 (skaikru have proven themselves poo, I´m not including the unless it´s just the faves) clans and protector of humanity. Well, that´s a lie, we kind of are. I am. She was such a strong, deeply layered, well-written, fantastically-acted character. Here was this teenaged girl leading her people to peace.
How fricking amazing is that?
Extra amazing? She was a lesbian. In a way that didn´t define her character. We had a badassed, multi-faceted, nuanced lesbian, teenaged girl building aliances, being ruthless when needed, and falling hea dover heels for Clarke Griffin, lead of the show, bisexual, Wanheda, reluctant/accidental leader of her people.
Wow.
And so we have come to why we are angry. Why we are devastated. Why there is such a reaction that I´m sure many perceive as an overreaction to the death of ´just a character´.
She was a lesbian.
Representation on television, in the media in general, matters. If you disagree with me on that, that is an entirely different blog post. Representation matters to see that despite what society tells us, there are options and futures out there. That goes for people of different races, people with disabilities, people under the LGBT banner, people who are not white, cis, straight and male. Have you looked at the TV? At the movie posters in the cinema? All I see are a swarm of white men staring at me.
When I was a teenager, knowing I was different, knowing I saw women ´differently´ to what was ´normal´ I discovered Willow and Tara on Buffy. My God, I was in awe. These two powerful women, in love. They broke up, it was devastating (I was fifteen, leave me alone) and even then the break up was a good thing, Willow was on a self-destructive path and dragging Tara down with her. But the reconciled…it was amazing. They had a day in bed, naked and wrapped in their sheets and it was…wow. Then, they got dressed and Tara got shot and died and Willow went crazy and killed people.
This trope is what we were fed on, it´s every queer girls bread and butter. You find the girl, you love the girl, you want the girl, the girl is straight. You find the girl, you love the girl, the girl loves you. You spend hours and days and months agonising over how hard it is to be with the girl, as lesbian is Bad and Wrong and Immoral. You run to men, because they are Safe and Pure and Good. You find the girl, you love the girl, the girl loves you, you endure angst and pain (and with a happy ending, who doesn´t love angst and pain?) and then she dies, or you die, or you both die. The surviving one goes to men.
We are raised on this, brought up on it, fed and it and some part of us, deep down, worries that this is really what is meant for us. How can you know a happy ending is out there when you never see it. Surrounding us